Life is not fair.  People who don't appreciate what they have are the ones who get to keep it.  Why are they that lucky?  

I'm not perfect, but I do feel that I've put out a lot of good into the world, how come I can't have this one thing?

Staying in bed for years sound really really good right now.







And to add insult to injury?  No one else seems to care.  If I'm not happy, they just don't bother with me.

Happy New Year everyone :)

I've really gotta start posting more :-/

I have finally have power back. The ice storm here was ridiculous and it got very very cold :( Today was day 5 without power...it came back at 2 this afternoon. There are still quite a few towns without power and they won't be getting it back anytime soon.

And tonite? A snowstorm is coming...

Those I thought would remember - didn't.
Those I thought wouldn't remember - did.

It was kind of an interesting day.

Wake up Wednesday morning with a slinky looking thingy in my vision that changes colors and moves around. Interesting.

So I head to the ER cause that's kinda freaky and it disappears in the waiting room. Figure that's the end of it right? Oh, no! I then get dizzy, clammy, pale, and nauseous. So I go back to meet the doctor. I walk out with a prescription for the dizziness and this for a diagnosis: it could have been a seizure, it could have been a migraine, or it could be your medication. I don't want to give you a CT scan and expose you to radiation if I don't need to (?!?!?!), so follow up with a neurologist and/or an opthamologist if you don't feel better.

Okay, what? You a) have NO idea what's wrong with me b) are sending me away with a generic feel-better pill in hopes it helps and c) passing me off to someone else

Great.

Thursday morning. Feeling NO better. Can only stop the spinning by laying completely horizontal. Call my neurologist. He wants to know why the guy didn't give me a CT scan. Repeat of explanation above. Silence. Yeah, that's what I thought too. He wasn't able to fit me in that day, but thought I should go back to the ER since I wasn't any better. So I go to a DIFFERENT ER this time. (I feel like I'm hospital shopping in an ER/House episode :-P)

This guy tells me I have benign positional vertigo. Woohoo! Diagnosis! Gives me Valium since you can do nothing about it. Not so woohoo. But should be gone in 5-7 days.

Cue day 6. Follow-up appointment with neurologist. Still dizzy, still nauseous. Any more slinkys? Nope. Any vomiting? Nope. Walk this line, move this way, twist your head, touch your nose, etc, etc, etc. You don't have vertigo! *sigh*


According to him I had a Basilar Migraine. Some of the symptoms are
Ataxia (walking like I'm drunk) - check
Vertigo (spinning like the teacups at Disney) - check
Visual symptoms (slinky!) - check
Dysarthria (talking like I'm drunk too) - check


So yeah. 3 doctors, 3 diagnoses. Great. Went for that CAT scan today to rule out a stroke since I have way too many risk factors due to my medical history. Guess we see what happens from there. Gonna try work for the first time tomorrow. It's been a solid week since I've been upright. Do you know how exhausting it is to be spinning?? I had no idea...

And how was YOUR week?

Seizures?! Really?! I went in for increased tics and migraines and now I'm told I'm having seizures...

How...?

What...?

When...?

Wow...just...wow.

I don't even know how to handle this...

Day 1...DONE.

• Be up at the crack of dawn to meet a lil one - check
• Drive over an hour to get there - check
• Only stay for a few minutes because they "want to go to the beach" - check
• Head to school to put room together - check
• Drop bookcase full of books right on the floor - check
• Run over my own foot and cause bleeding and pain - check
• Hurt the shoulder I'm going to physical therapy for - check
• Take a shower and feel like a new person - check

It's been a loooooooooooong day.  My Tourette's is really bad today and my jaw is killing me.  I think it may be time for a muscle relaxer...I hate doing that.



I'm already exhausted and in pain...how am I going to make it for the next few days?  :(

Wow, lots of movie watching this weekend!  We went to see Wall-E...so cute!  One of the cutest movies I've seen in a long time.  Will definitely be watching that one again.

Also went to see Hancock.  Since I hadn't seen previews for it (I know, what rock have I been living under?), I had no expectations for it.  I didn't even know what it was about.  It wasn't bad...though it didn't seem very well thought out at the end.  Can't say much more without giving it away, but yeah.

On another note, watching Anthony Bourdain.  *shudder* My face will be permanently stuck like this long after it ends...

Wow, it's been awhile since I've posted!

Year is finally over.  The kids last day was Monday, mine was on Tuesday.  I got paid to sit around on my ass all day and do noting....literally.  They had no meetings or busy work for us to do, so we sat around playing games.  I would have killed for that much free time during the year!   I get to go in tomorrow to see a preschooler and start thinking about room set-up for next year.  I haven't heard anything about the BASE program proposal yet, but as I've been told, "we're going to do it anyway."  OK! 

 As far as the Early Intervention job, I met with my team leader on Friday and got an idea of the kiddos on my case load.  I start meeting them on Wednesday - this will be interesting!  I've got a lot of reading and research to do before then.  I shouldn't be so intimidated by little ones!  For some reason, I'm more nervous about this step than working in the school...the parents maybe?  Who knows, I'm sure I'll be fine once I start.  The staff seems great and supportive, so that's definitely a plus.

Been dealing with some things on my own lately.  To those that have tried, I'm sorry I've been so distant.  It's not something I really want to bring up or talk about, just know I'm a little...off, but I'm hoping it'll pass soon.  Expect me to be a bit distant,  but that doesn't mean I don't want to talk :)

GO WHITNEY!! :)


It's about time!

I just applied for a job!  A per diem job, but still. 

I was thisclose to closing the browser cause I just couldn't find any per diem jobs.  Last one I clicked on...per diem pediatric occupational therapist.  It couldn't get any more perfect!  They want someone with experience with ASD - I'm applying for an ASD graduate certificate and writing a program proposal for a program.  25% of my caseload has ASD.  Perfect!

Now everyone cross your fingers for me.  I don't want to get my hopes up, but I really want this.

Twilight finished.
New Moon finished.
Eclipse finished.

Do I really have to wait until August for the next one?!

I just finished Twilight.  I read about a million pages tonite.  Absolutely loved it.  Heading to the bookstore tomorrow for the sequel *hop*

Ugh.  I just can't do this anymore.  I fell asleep in the doctor's office waiting for the doctor.  I was VERY tempted to come home after the doctor and sleep.  Not that it helps, but I just couldn't make myself move.  I told him I'm falling asleep at the wheel, falling asleep while TREATING KIDS, falling asleep constantly.  I'm going for a sleep study on Monday, again, so hopefully something comes out of it.

I'm finally reading Twilight.  I just started it on Tuesday - I'm about 1/3 of the way through - and I LOVE IT.  I didn't think I'd find it so interesting, but it's great!  I think I might know some vampires *grin*  Some people I know are toooo like Edward hehe

I'm having one of those "life sucks" moments.    I'm not happy and nothing is fixing it.  I can't distract myself.  I've gone for drives to clear my head and that made it worse, for many reasons.  I tried working out to distract me and I'm too sick to.  I tried to read a book and wound up daydreaming instead.  People haven't been around to talk to at the time I'm ready to (which isn't often at all).

Sometimes, people just make it worse.  Bah..I'm lost.

I'm very upfront about my Tourette's Syndrome.  It's not like I say, Hi, I'm Casey and I have Tourette's - I'm not my own support group.  But after I get to know someone a little, I don't want them to feel uncomfortable if I tic in front of them or (and this has happened), I roll my eyes at a very unfortunate time.  They usually are a little taken aback, but it makes things easier later on.

Well, I met a new co-worker a few days ago.  After we've been talking a few days, I let them know, hey, I have Tourette's - don't take any eye rolling, etc. personally.  They said, and I quote, "No, you don't."

*blink*

Really?

I've been living with this diagnosis for 16 years, I am SO GLAD to find out it's been wrong! *rolls eyes INTENTIONALLY*

Apparently because I don't shout swear words all the time and I have learned to "control" the motor/vocal tics that I have...I can't have Tourette's.  Well, it's a damn good thing SHE wasn't my neurologist at the time. 

Less than 15% of people with Tourette's have coprolalia (the "use of socially-inappropriate words or phrases").  According to this person...the other 85% of us are shit out of luck.  No Tourette's for us.

I understand not knowing everything about Tourette's, I really do.  It's not a common thing and a lot of people ONLY know about the coprolalia.  However, if I tell you I have it - trust me?   Why would I lie about that?  It's not like a pony and everyone wishes they have it.  It's a neurological disorder.  Bah.

I needed to put this somewhere ...

Finished:
In Search of Eden - Linda Nichols
Physik - Angie Sage
Lisey's Story - Stephen King*
Inkheart - Cornelia Funke
Alchemyst - Michael Scott*
Twilight - Stephenie Meyer
New Moon - Stephenie Meyer
Eclipse - Stephenie Meyer
The Girl Who Stopped Swimming - Joshilyn Jackson *
The Wizard Heir - Cinda Chima
The Host - Stephenie Meyer
The Naming - Allison Croggon
Breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer
Children of the Night - Dan Simmons *
Dragon Song - Anne McCaffrey *


...I swear there's more...



In Progress:
Witches' Brew - Terry Brooks *
The Stolen Child - Keith Donohue
James Potter and the Hall of Elder's Crossing - G. Norman Lippertt


updated August 19, 2008

The song which I will be singing for weeks now...

Leave me alone now,
Leave me alone.
Leave me alone now,
Leave me alone.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

He put a "you" at the beginning, but I like this version better :)